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The Hardware Aisle

Hardware

Sub-Categories:

Tools & Accessories
Tape
Glue
Fasteners
Electrical

...well, it is a hardware shop. You'd be amazed how many people ask us, "Do you sell nuts and bolts?" No, I'm sorry sir, you'll have to try the fish and chip shop.

Of course we sell nuts and bolts! And screws, nails and rivets. And hammers, screwdrivers, bolt cutters and spanners. And every other chunk of metal that a self-respecting hardware shop should have.

So if you find yourself short of a washer or a square drive screwdriver, come to us. And please, ask "Where are the screwdrivers?", not "Do you sell screwdrivers?" Thank you.

Tools & Accessories

Jake loves tools. In fact, along with his boardgames, his bike and his family, tools are his favourite things with which to pass the time. In light of this, it's a wonder that it took him as long as it did to get round to leaving his big-city office job and buying a small-town hardware shop - but all's well that ends well.

Jake's love of tools is apparent in every crevice of the tool aisle, an aisle which abounds with... tools. If there's something you want cut, pried, sawn, chopped, ground, sliced, clamped, crushed, stretched, bashed, hewn, dented, stabbed or sautéed, we'll have just the tool you need. From a Shawshank Redemption-esque rock hammer to a crowbar that would give Fort Knox a run for its money, Jake's selection will amaze you. We've even got a Dental Probe. A Dental Probe.

Tape

Many world leaders and pop culture icons, including but possibly not limited to Luke Preston-Marshall, agree that literally all you need to do anything ever is a roll or two of duct tape. Now while such people can seldom be expected to come to any useful, logical or reliable conclusions on anything at all, one can't help but admit that they seem to be on the right track this time. Can you think of a single sticky situation which cannot be solved with some heavy-duty duct tape and a little patience? Exactly.

Even if duct tape did somehow fail to deliver, we are confident that the correct use of electrical tape, masking tape, grip tape, self-amalgamating tape, transparent tape, parcel tape, double-sided tape, glasshouse repair tape, frog tape, automotive trim tape, green tape, red tape, yellow tape, black tape, grey tape, silver tape, white tape and/or taupe tape would do the trick.

At last count, tape in general had over 76,087,249,006 different and distinct uses. These uses include: sticking up a poster, sealing an envelope, patching a hole, building a space shuttle, covering someone's mou- mmph! Mmmm mphmmm! Mmmophm mhm mummphm...

Glue

Description coming soon.

Fasteners

Description coming soon.

Electrical

Description coming soon.

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